Erection Confession: I'm Confused

Photos: DListed.com

Here are pictures of what some are alleging are Lady Gaga at the 2011 CFDA Awards. As I'm sure many are you are wondering, WTF? Personally, I'm torn. My penis says boobs, boobs, boobs but my mind says man, man, man. I don't know what to do. Take time by myself and "think" one out? Go to church and confess I'm in love with a lady-man? Either way I'm uncomfortable with this. Whatever is happening in the above photos, I'm just thankful I have enough gasoline to rub my eyes clean and drink my worries away. 

Arm Me

Source: DListed.com 

Before I comment on this video I have to admit, I actually really like this idea. If I had more balls and no desire to ever live outside of my parents basement, I might actually consider doing this. Strike that, If I had more than 23 Facebook friends I would do this. With the amount I currently do I would get to my elbow and would have to start adding random people, that might just get awkward. 

I have to wonder though, what happens when someone defends her or vice versa. Does she go back and get the picture removed. Cover it up with tape or wear a long sleeve shirt? this is quite the commit that I don't know if I am ready to make. I have a hard time deciding my toppings at Subway, let alone doing this. 

This woman is clearly crazy and social media is clearly ruining our lives. Regardless, its nice for the rest of us to laugh at her and realize that adding random faces to her arm is the closest she'll ever have to real friends. I guess the next step is getting a man tattooed on her ring finger as a husband and a baby on her vajayjay for a child. How far we've come. 

Floyd's a Hipster's Paradise, But With Boccee

As all of my followers know (aka my parents and me) I am currently living in Brooklyn for the summer. Like any good tourist I have been spending my time exploring my neighborhood and terrorizing everyone I meet. 

Tonight I went to a place called Floyd's Bar. It was the quintessential hipster paradise. A daily happy hour from 5-7 with $2 PBR and bocce indoors. What more could anyone want. There are comfortable couches to nap or passout on, and the walls are filled with creepy pictures from the early 1900's. In essence I felt like in was in my grandparents house when they lost their damn minds and put a shuffle board in their living room. Regardless, its an awesome bar and one I hope to haunt more often. If you re in the area an need a place to bond with your friends while drunkenly challenging strangers to bocce, come to Floyd's. 

Where da Weiner At?

Notes: Images do not belong to me. 

Like most Americans I've been following Weingergate 2011 with close scrutiny. And like most of you I've been wondering...when are we going to see some wiener? Its been nearly two weeks now and all I've seen only seen some pussy (see above) and what can at best be described as a tit-pic (again, above). Am I the only one that feels a little cheated by the hype of this scandal and the lack of nudity that's been involved. Now I'm not saying that I want to see dicks plastered across the front Page of the New York Times, but with a name like his and a scandal being refered to as "lewd," wouldn't it at least make sense to see some nudity?

Maybe this is just the beginning of the photos and I'm just being greedy. Maybe I expect all of my scandals to involved nudity, but with the recent Blake Lively photos "leaked" one has come to expect a little T&A with their scandals. Needless to say I'm disappointed. 

Let this be a warning to any future politicians who wish to sleep with a prostitute or "sext message through Facebook" (yes a newspaper actually said this, and no old people its not possible), step it up and show us the goods. We're not going to respect you and possibly elect you to office unless we've seen your junk and know its good. Its as simple as that. So to Weiner, go away. I've had enough of this lame scandal. You're boring me and like most people in my generation our attention can only last so lo